07.23.09

im really sick of my sister acting like a baby.. i just want to be back at school where i dont have to deal with this.. it keeps getting worse.. and so does my grandfather.. he walked from his house to our and my grandmother didnt even notice.. =\ and he is still hallucinating: he keeps seeing people across the river and thinks people are out to get him.. he needs a doctor who give a shit bc he just keeps getting medicine after medicine.. mom wants them to move in with us.. i volunteered to move down to the basement, but now im told i dont even get to move into the spare room.. i have to just sleep out in the open down there bc she wants her desk to stay in the one room.. [there is one room down there, the rest of it is just open].. pretty much i hate it here.. i go for my license test on saturday.. idk how ill do.. i parallel parked in mom's blazer about half the time, and im testing in ben's car, which is much smaller.. last chance to practice is tomorrow night =/ idk how im gonna do it.. i have to work tomorrow.. i go in for 3 hours.. i dont understand why they have such weird hours up there.. bc i work 945 to 1245.. its so weird.. it was nice not having to work the past two days tho.. i just hate being home..

07.01.09

i really wish i was back at school.. i just get so bored here.. i could at least chill in my room in peace if i wanted to at school.. here, i have no door and its always WWIII.. efffffff.. i get a three day weekend off from work for the 4th [somehow] and i dont even have anything to do.. nothing.. its like the worst little vacation ever.. ill be stuck at home getting bitched at.. what joy.. i have to work a 9 hr shift tomorrow.. i hate those.. and im in mens.. if it were anywhere else, i would be fine [except jewelry].. im sure im stuck working with wonderful people too.. i would love to be back in home.. i like it back there.. i think its the most chill place in the whole store.. plus i love looking at all the cute kids clothes lol.. at school for some reason people actually want to hang around me.. its weird.. that never happens to me.. not complaining or anything either.. i just usually keep to myself.. and people just leave me be.. except at home.. ugh.. anything i do is a problem.. i feel like thats all i ever write about but its my life.. thats what i have to deal with every single day.. i just need a break from it all.. this summer really sucks.. and ive been home for 2 months.. what have i done? worked and been a problem for everyone here at the house.. i cant afford my own place.. plus i dont get financial aide if i am not living at home.. thats the real kicker.. ugh! there is no lactaid milk for all the kids with special milk either! i want some applejacks! lol.. later this month im going to go out and see my grandparents again.. go out to their cabin and have some food and maybe play some more redneck golf.. i am sooooo boredddd! ugh.. i hate this place.. i wish i wasnt retarded and got my license like last year.. i cant test until the 25th.. i have to find a car too.. there is a white mustang on the strip that i like.. idk when i would be able to get in there tho with my schedule.. ive checked a few places online and have not found any cheap enough.. there are some on ebay but idk.. depends on how i would have to pay for it.. i guess ill try to see if i could find something to do..